In large families, it common knowledge that one of the primary functions of older siblings is to collect blackmail material on all of their younger siblings. This blackmail material can be used for mere entertainment value or to intimidate your younger siblings when they threaten to upstage you in life. Younger siblings must be reminded of their place after all! My older brother pulls out the occasional embarrassing story from my childhood and uses them on me at appropriate moments. For example, if I said, "Wow, I just got accepted to two medical schools and wait listed at a third." Then a few minutes later it would be appropriate for my brother to remind me and the other people in the room of the time I ate fish food when I was 3 years old. Although I may be in med school he has reminded me that he still has the goods on me and he is not afraid to use them if he needs to put be back in my place as his little sis.
These memories must be carefully filed away so that you can remember where they are for future use. For example, in my brain there is a clearly labeled folder called, "Embarrassing Stories and Memories of Little Siblings" that is much larger and has much better recall than my "Organic Chemistry" folder. Some of the contents of this embarrassing stories folder are:
-When Paul was 3 years old and would ride his tricycle around with bottle sticking out the belt of his pants. He clearly thought he was pretty hot stuff with his bottle ready for fast drinking action just in case his tricycling action made him thirsty.
- When Sarah was about 4 years old she pretended she was a dog for 3 weeks straight. She would even try to eat dog food and lock herself in the dog kennel. (Yes, we do have pictures of this). Mom was particularly embarrassed when our family went up for communion at church and Sarah insisted on coming back crawling on all fours and acting like a dog.
- When Gene was when he was 5 or 6 years old (this period went on for a really long time so getting the exact age is a little tricky) he had just learned English after being adopted from Russia and he didn't understand what made a joke funny. He heard the joke, "Why did the boy throw butter out the window? He wanted to see butterfly!" So he would try to make up his own versions of the joke substituting the word 'butter' for various other household objects, "Why did the boy throw a carrot/teapot/spoon/knife/cake/pencil out the window? He want to see the carrot/teapot/spoon/knife/cake/pencil fly!"
Monica is currently going through a stage that is quite similar to Gene's "Why did the boy throw the ____ out the window" stage. Monica's stage is currently revolving around the inability to remember the punch line to several knock, knock jokes. The knock, knock joke is supposed to go something like this:
Person 1: "Knock, knock"
Person 2: "Who is there?"
Person 1: "Boo"
Person 2: "Boo who?"
Person 1: "It's only a joke! Why are you crying?"
Monica's version? Well, it is Monica's version. Mwhahaha, Aaron and I might be able to blackmail her with this video when she gets older." Who knows? Maybe she will end up being a stand-up comedian and this video clip with be in a documentary about the development of her amazing comedy skills. But us older siblings will know how to use it when she outshines us.
(Video recorded by older brother Aaron)
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5 comments:
Christy, I don't remember you eating fish food! Was that just a rhetorical example?
I sure do remember Paul going around with a baby bottle in the belt of his pants. He sure was hot stuff, too, cruising around the cemetery on his tricycle!
(I have to dig through my old photos for the proof of that. Blackmail works a lot better if you have a photo.)
I, being the supreme sibling, will probably have a lot of goods on a lot of y'all. Thanks for putting this together. -Aaron :)
:) I also feel it is my responsibility as the oldest sibling in my family to remind my sisters of embarrassing moments in their childhood.
The problem is that they now remember embarrassing moments in MY childhood.
Ah yes, I did eat fish food. I guess if you didn't remember/know I shouldn't have told you about it (great! now you have even more ammunition on me). I was three years old and dad found me placing a pinch of fish food on my tongue. I guess I decided that if the fish liked it so much it must be good. I just remember it tasted very salty. In case you are wondering, I haven't tried fish food since then.
I sort-of did use it in the blog entry as a rhetorical example. I didn't want to publish of some other even more embarrassing stories that I would not want to be all over the internet.
:)
Christy
This entry is hilarious!!!! You need to add that Monica likes to play in the jacuzzi and pretend she is a mermaid. Ha!
Love,
Mom
I need to add that now Aaron has had to confess to his co-workers about the time he put Tabasco Sauce on my toast when I was about 4 years old. I guess the younger siblings can collect dirt on the older ones too. Like many things it can go both ways!
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