Yesterday I was filled with the most shock and anger I have experienced during this trip to Uganda.
Soon after arriving at the delivery ward, the third year medical student asked me to assist her for a delivery. I helped prep and got a clean sheet ready for the baby. The third year student did an expert job of delivering the baby. This was the young mother's second baby and she didn't tear at all. I helped hold the baby on the mother's stomach while the third year student tied off the umbilical cord. The baby was very healthy and beautiful baby girl and she let out several strong cries immediately after delivery. After the cord was cut, we showed the sex of the baby to the mother. One of my favorite parts of delivery is when you show the baby (including the sex) to the mother and she gets a huge grin across her face. However, when we showed the baby to this mother she glanced at the baby and looked away in absolute disgust. Confused, I tried to show her the baby again and said, "Congratulations mama! you have a beautiful baby girl!" The mother continued to look away with contempt and refused to look at me or her child. Still confused I took the baby, weighed her, cleaned off her face, examined her toes and back, etc. She was looked perfect - she had all her toes and fingers, she was actively moving and breathing/crying very well. I wrapped the baby up in several sheets and went back to the third year student to ask what was going on. The third year student told me that the mother doesn't want the baby because it was a girl. The young woman's first child was a girl and she wanted a boy because their family needs a male child. The third year medical student then spent about an hour telling me of how common a problem this is. Many women, if you do not show them the sex the the child and get a witness will later accuse the staff of replacing a "less valuable" female child with the male child they claim to have delivered. Apparently, boys are seen as a way to wealth and security, but girls are seen more as a liability in some aspects of Ugandan culture. It was so sad. This beautiful baby wasn't wanted because she was a girl.
I asked the third year student what we were going to do. She said that there really isn't anything you can do besides give the baby to the mother and hope she will care for it. The third year student said that she would hope that mother would have some counseling and someone would make sure she wasn't suffering from post-pardum depression, but the facilities/resources just weren't available there. After the woman was cleaned up we placed the baby next to her. I watched in horror as she apathetically stared at the ceiling while the baby screamed next to her and she made no attempt to console or breastfeed it. What is wrong with the world? Something seems so inherently wrong in a mother not wanting her newborn baby. I calmly tried to maintained my self control despite the feeling that if I could shoot lasers from my eyes everyone in the room would be a singed skeleton, and talked to Annie over lunch. It is great that we have each other to talk to!
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1 comment:
I also submit some of my experiences to my IHOP on-line journal. This is some feedback my IHOP mentor gave to this entry. I thought it was interesting and insightful. What do you think?
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Your story about the mother not wanting the baby: I understand how upsetting this is, esp. since in our culture every baby is (usually) seen as incredibly precious and doted and fawned over. But there might be lots of other reasons for the mother's concern. Perhaps her husband will be unhappy with the lack of a boy, and will beat her. Perhaps the family does not have the resources to feed and care for another child, and she is at the mercy of her own fertility in a place where birth control options are limited. Perhaps the family was hoping that they could have a boy to help earn wages when he grow up, so that he could take care of her: and having a girl was seen as the equivalent as having her social secutity benefits taken away. I am not making excuses here, just saying that personal (and societal) attitudes take place within larger contexts, and that by looking at the larger context, people's actions can be a bit easier to comprehend.
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