A mean prank

How is the summer treating you? Are you bored? Tired of life? Do you want to go on a road trip, but can't afford the gas? Have you completed all of your 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzles, and don't know what to do next? Do you delight in the inconvenience of others? Are you just itching to play a vicious prank on a sort-of friend? If so, this is the blog entry for you! Follow these simple steps and watch your friend/acquaintance agonize for weeks and loathe your name.

Note: For the purpose of this entry, we will call the person on whom you are playing the prank, "The Victim."

Prank Day 0 (Planning stage): Go to a local store and buy several large bags of candy. Any kind will do, but preferably it would be small, individually wrapped and easy to distribute to large numbers of children. Also, make a time schedule of when the victim is usually away from home.

Prank Day 1: When the victim is gone (consult time schedule), go to the victim's neighborhood and conduct some activity to attract small children. This could be playing a game of soccer in an
area next to the victim's house. Once a large number of children are gathered, ask them if they would like some candy/sweets. Of course, the children will say, "Yes!" Next, GO TO THE DOOR OF THE VICTIM'S HOUSE (This is a very important step) and proceed to give out 1 or 2 pieces of candy to each child present while still standing outside the victim's door. When the children call their friends, give them candy too.

Prank Day 2: Repeat the process. The sports activity won't be necessary. The children will be ready to run to the door of the victim's house to receive their piece of candy bliss.

Prank Day 3: Go to the victim's door, but don't give out candy. Tell the children that you don't have candy EVERY day, so they have to keep coming back even if they don't get candy for a couple days.

Prank Day 4: Go to the victim's door and give out more candy.

Prank Day 5: Give out tons of candy at the victim's door! Get rid of what ever candy you may have left.

Prank Day 6 - infinity: Relish the misery you have inflicted on the victim as every child in the neighborhood hounds them with,"Give me sweets! Give me sweets!" as they go to and from his or her house.

The worst part of it, is that the victim will feel so bad having to say, "No, I am sorry, I don't have any sweets" to cute little children every day. You also have the perfect cover if you get caught giving out candy - just say that you really like being nice too kids.
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I am sure that you have already guessed from the bitter nature of this entry that someone did this very prank at the our apartment in Kampala. I don't think the individual was consciously trying to be vicious. However, the end result was the same. We also know who did it because Annie caught him red-handed as he was giving out the last of a huge bag of candy to small children outside our door. The individual was a friend of one of the Swedish medical students and for some he thought it would be a good idea of give out candy at the door of our house for 6 consecutive days.

For the first week after the candy was distributed, every time Annie and I came home we would be mobbed by at least 4 children yelling, "Mzungu (white person)! Give me sweets! Give me sweets!" We would respond by saying that we were sorry, but we didn't have any candy/sweets to give. They usually left and would try again the next day, but one time they actually laid on the ground and kicked the door of our apartment screaming, "Give me sweets! Give me sweets!" They have gradually thinned, but there are still 1-4 children who follow me to the door of our apartment asking for candy.

If you have read some of my earlier blog entries, you may be confused - I always talk about how much I love children and how cute they are. This is true, and I do love children, just not when they are stalking me for candy. Also, please don't be under the impression that these are starving children. They are actually the children of quite affluent families who live around us (we live in a fairly nice area of Kampala) and the children are fairly spoiled by Uganda's standards. But yes, in general, I do still love children.



"Give me sweets!" I took this picture today, almost 3 weeks since the last day of candy distribution at our door. There were two small children waiting outside my door today. They are still cute, even if they are getting on my nerves a little bit.