Baby Feet

The other night I had one of my first overnight labor and delivery shifts. It was a lot of fun and I had some very good and interesting learning opportunities. It turned out to be a fairly quiet night as far as labor and delivery usually goes. I took a woman down to get an ultrasound and then I ended up following a woman who was in labor. The woman delivered towards the end of the shift and the delivery needed a vacuum (attach suction device to baby's head so the OB can assist with the delivery). It was a good learning experience because I had not seen a vacuum delivery before. After the delivery the baby's family was very happy and crowding around the new infant and mom. After cleaning up a bit in the room, I was sitting at the nurse's station and a nurse was walking by and asked if I wanted to 'help make baby feet.' I knew that part of the post-birth paperwork was to create a paper image of the baby's feet using this weird powdered ink stuff, so I assumed that this is what we were going to end up doing on our newly delivered infant. Being my normal enthusiastic self, I said I would be delighted to help and jumped up to follow the nurse.

I made a visual illustration to emphasize what I thought we would be doing when 'making baby feet' before entering into the experience:

I followed the nurse into a room where we set up some tables and started getting out supplies. There were some bowls and materials to make a dough like substance and plaster. At first I was a little puzzled as we were getting the supplies out of a cupboard called "bereavement supplies," but in my sleep-deprived state, I didn't put any more energy towards thinking about the issue. The nurse explained that we were making two sets of baby feet by pressing the dough flat into the bowls, then we would press the baby's feet and hands into the dough to make and indentation, and then pour plaster over the dough to make an impression of the baby's feet. Then when the plaster was almost dry you could engrave the baby's birth date and name in the back. The nurse gave me a sad little smile and said it is a really nice thing to help the parents remember the baby by. It was then I realized through my sleepy haze, that no one had actually told me that we were 'making baby feet' on a living baby. I looked around the room a bit more and saw a carefully arranged pile of flannel Mickey Mouse baby blankets on the end of the bed. I quietly asked the nurse if she could tell me the story behind the baby. She explained that it was a baby that was born many weeks before the age of viability (age of viability is around 23-24 weeks gestational age) and there was no way they could save the baby. The nurse explained that many years ago, medical personnel thought that a woman should not see a child that was miscarried/stillborn, and that every one should just sort-of pretend that it never happened. However, now they have found that mothers/parents have better closure and actually heal better after the loss of a child if they have many different ways to remember the baby by - pictures, naming the child, a baby feet plaque, counseling, etc. So the hospital helps parents with the grieving process and remembering the baby in many ways including making baby feet impressions to give to the parents.

Even after having a couple minutes to prepare myself, I think my face still whitened a little when the nurse carefully brought over the pile of Mickey Mouse baby blankets and removed a very small dead baby. Using gloved hands she gently pressed the feet and hands into the dough, and then handed the baby to me. I was shaking a little as I held the cold body (it fit easily in one outstretched hand), but was able to repeat the process and create impressions in my bowl of dough as well. The nurse then carefully took the baby back and dressed him in some premature infant clothes and took him back to his parents for holding/pictures. Although it was a bit of an emotional experience, I felt very privileged to be part of it. I also think that it is an important point that when new parents experience a loss such as this, they want the existence and death of their child to be acknowledged. A very good lesson, but hopefully not one I will have to utilize frequently.